Corinne, the author of Everyday Gyaan has invited bloggers to participate in a Blog Hop from March 1st-March 10th. She and Linda Lee came up with this wonderful idea and will be sharing their opposing views as well.
comparison is the thief of joy
yeh or neh
Personally, I say yeh. If you spend your entire life comparing to something or someone else, you limit yourself.
Diet has taken the forefront in our home since Michaela's diagnoses. Our lifestyle revolves around food. For some, that may be difficult to imagine. I remember my first attempts to making a gluten/allergy free meal...what a disaster! Even my dogs turned their nose up at the offering. But, eventually I began to get the hang of it and meals became edible.
Michaela had numerous favorites that were immediately scratched off the list due to her gluten and allergy restrictions. She would constantly remind me of how she missed certain foods. One of those foods was Macaroni and Cheese. I don't know how many of you have a dairy allergy, but recreating a gluten and dairy free macaroni and cheese that tastes good is not an easy task. After three years, I finally got it to the point that it tasted good for everyone in the family.
The major problem that I ran into with meals is that Michaela was comparing new food tastes to what she remembered it tasting like before she was diagnosed. This presented a problem. Although it is feasible to make great-tasting meals gluten and allergy free, they will never taste exactly as remembered. For quite awhile, I remember telling Michaela to taste her food as if this was the first time she had ever had it.
"Mommy, it doesn't taste like it used to." I would reply "I understand honey, but does it taste good?" She would answer "yes".
Anyone who has any type of diet restriction has to begin to have a different outlook on their food. Comparing it to past tastes will only hinder their success. So, in this case, yes...comparison is the thief of joy☺
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Ah - what a good one, Mary. I can appreciate what Michaela's going through to some extent. I've recently switched to green tea instead of milk tea and soy milk instead of coffee...they just don't taste the same...
ReplyDeleteCorinne, you will make yourself crazy if you compare to what you remember. I know the taste is different, but does it taste good? It may even require an acquired taste, but if you compare to what you used to drink you will never be satisfied. It's a 'mindset' game, really. Oh, there we go...how about a blog hop on 'do you act on your thoughts? or do you have thoughts based on your actions?' That would certainly be interesting, huh?
ReplyDeleteI am so rigid in my taste...being an vegetarian, I am so opposed to taste any other cuisine...mentally comparing that they will not taste as good as the Indian cuisine I like...:)
ReplyDeleteNice post.
I certainly understand that Janaki. I'm not a vegetarian, but my daughter and I could easily be. If it weren't for my husband and son who just 'have to have their meat', we would be LOL. I've not had much opportunity to taste much Indian cuisine except for two occasions; Savira had a wonderful dish for us when we visited and then Bonnie made an Indian recipe while she was her over Christmas. Both were very tasty and I believe it is something I could grow to really enjoy ☺
DeleteYou will enjoy Indian cuisine. :)
DeleteIt is also that we are in a way brain washed since young that meat is bad for us...and it becomes difficult for us to adjust to any other type of cuisine.
For Michaela discovering new tastes and food must be quite journey... When it comes to food there is whole new world out there but i understand how limiting it can be for her.
ReplyDeleteMichaela always seemed to be satisfied with just a few select food items. When she was diagnosed, she had to change. That was difficult in itself. She never was one to venture out to try new foods. Little by little, we worked on that together and now she is more open to new dishes. It has been quite an interesting journey though.
DeleteHi, Mary! ~
ReplyDeleteLove your take on the subject at hand!
Very wise advice: "Anyone who has any type of diet restriction has to begin to have a different outlook on their food. Comparing it to past tastes will only hinder their success."
I've never been a mac & cheese kind of gal, but I must admit your photo makes me hungry... ;-)
Haha Linda...you make me laugh. My husband seriously hates mac and cheese but it never fails, every time I make it for Michaela she always asking him if he wants a bowl ☺
DeleteI can see this being a thief of joy to once indulging in delicious foods..to have to get used to a whole new taste and maybe liking it it but yet still comparing to what she remembered..a hard task indeed..but I know how goo your food is to me..As always....XOXOXOXO
ReplyDeleteThanks Bongo ☺ It took her a little while but she finally got it and now looks at eating a whole different way. It does help if everyone in the family is supportive.
DeleteMary, perfect illustration of why comparison is a thief of joy... Comparing taste is something I hadn’t thought of – until now. But the contrast in the way foods taste, the before and after comparison, is a great topic to write about. Bless you girl! BTW, Michaela is so beautiful! And probably just as sweet!
ReplyDeleteAhhh Debra, thank you. She is sweet, but she is a normal teenager and comes with the normal 'teenager' headaches LOL. She can make me crazy sometimes, but I am trying to go with the flow and do my best.
DeleteHi Mary. :-) I think I remember hearing food allergy back when I was in med school. But I only came across Celiac Disease through your blog so I'm curious and will make a research to further understand.
ReplyDeleteIt must be hard adjusting for Michaela's diet. I can't imagine my life with so many food restrictions because I am such a food lover! But it's really touching that you had to do modifications so that she could still be able to eat mac and cheese, even if it tasted different. She's blessed to have you as her mom. :-)
Irene, it is a unique disease in the fact that the symptoms vary so much from one person to another. The one constant is that ingestion of gluten destroys the villa in the intestine. There is no argument there, but it is how each person feels this, whether there is no pain, major pain, nausea, vomiting, etc.
DeleteThe gluten free diet is not necessarily that restrictive, as far as I'm concerned. It becomes restrictive when you add in the rest of the food allergies. I have been really blessed. God gave me the ability to put ingredients together and create a food masterpiece without much stress. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm not. A lot of experiments go into the trash...yucko. But, for the most part, when I give something a go it's edible the first time around :)
Thanks Mary for the inspirational advice about learn to taste your food as if it was the first time you had ever had it. This could apply to many things and could be a brilliant recipe for living our lives in the moment.
ReplyDeleteWell hello Loddy! So nice to have you over here in my neck of the woods LOL.
DeleteYou are so very right...this could apply to so many things in our lives. Thank you for that insight!
"Mommy, it doesn't taste like it used to." I would reply "I understand honey, but does it taste good?" She would answer "yes".
ReplyDeleteI say the same to my kids :)
I will really benefit from your good advise on this site as comfort eating is a huge problem for me. Thank you for your comment on Corinne's Blog Mary <3
Hi Nikky! It sounds like comfort food is in order for you right now. That's okay though. We are aloud that once in awhile ☺ I have left you a book on your blog LOL, so sorry. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
DeleteI Loved your "book" thank you so much and will reply for sure, but i am having problems in my connection :(
Deletemy mother used to say, just be quiet and eat your vegetables ;)
ReplyDeleteHa, ha, ha Tbaoo ☺ You are a hoot! Mine too though as I remember it. No dessert until my plate was clean!
DeleteI can imagine what your daughter is going through, poor girl! It is not easy adjusting to food one is not used to...comparison inevitably steals the joy of enjyoying the new meal.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing a great job with your experiments Mary :)
Luchissmiles, she has been doing this since 2009. For about 2 months, she was challenging her dairy and egg allergy, and we both thought we were in heaven! Being able to include both of those in your menu made us feel like we had just stepped into another world. It was great! Unfortunately for her, after the 2 months, her antibodies to dairy and egg were out of the roof and we had to take it back out of her diet :( It was good while it lasted though. She'll be able to challenge again in about 4 years and we look forward to that freedom in diet :)
DeleteHello Mary.
ReplyDeleteI'm smiling to myself as I read this. Due to some health issues a few years ago - high cholesterol being the biggest problem, I was told I had to have reduced sodium meals. My taste-buds had become so used to salty foods that when my wife did reduce the salt, everything tasted WRONG. Fast forward 6 years & now we are almost salt-free. Now, whenever we eat anything that is high in sodium, it makes us sick because we've re-trained our palettes to do without salt.
Enjoyed your write-up.
Thanks for sharing.
I understand Andy. When I was a teenager, I hated salt and pepper and never used any on my food. It wasn't until I got older that I started using it to increase the flavor of the food. Now, the food tastes funny to me if I don't salt it LOL. It's amazing how sensitive our palettes can be :)
DeleteAs I am ageing, I am developing new tastes. But I can understand how limiting it is to be able to eat only certain foods. You are doing a great job of recreating dishes by replacing the core ingredients. WOW
ReplyDeleteOver the years, Sulekkha, I have developed the knack for tasting foods and deciphering the ingredients in that particular food. I don't believe I could do it with other cuisine, but for American food I can, for the most part. My son seems to have that same talent. We have fun when he and I go to a restaurant. We sit there and compare any new dish that we are trying, to see who can come up with the closest ingredients. It sounds weird, but we have a great time with it :)
DeleteAnd absolutely correct. It is our memories that take away the joy of the present in this case - the memory of that particular dish, made her see the taste of this dish as 'not-so-good'.. Loved this post.
ReplyDeleteI truly believe this happens to everyone that has a diet change. As Andy pointed out, our palletes are so sensitive that we detect any change as different, and not always a positive one. Keeping an enthusiastic attitude towards the change definitely helps out :)
DeleteI recently had a similar experience. I had been using Equal artificial sweetener for years. My daughter, who is helping me improve my diet, convinced me that I needed to get away form aspartame and use Truvia sweetener instead. It took weeks for me to make the transition because I kept comparing the tastes, which to me are distinctly different. As you pointed out, the key was stop thinking Truvia is not good because it doesn't taste the same as Equal. I love how you took the subject and gave it a unique flavor! ;P
ReplyDeleteThank you Sweepy Jean :) So very true. I believe it is Truvia that we are going to be growing in our garden this year. I'll have to let you know how it turns out. We are also going to be making 'beet' sugar. That ought to be interesting LOL.
DeleteI can relate to your daughter. My husband and I have been vegetarians for several years. He likes to cook and even more, he likes to eat. He misses meat and spend lots of time trying to duplicate a meatless, meat. He's usually satisfied with making something close, but me, I typically turn my nose at it because it's not like real meat, like I remember. He tries to get me to experience it as new, but I'm stubborn. So I rob myself of the joy in simply enjoying something that tastes pretty good. And I rob my husband of some joy too because he would really want me to enjoy what he cooks.
ReplyDeleteMyrna, that would be something that even myself would have a difficult time trying. Meatless meat. I have never heard of that but it sounds interesting, and of course, I'll have to check it out. Michaela seems to be getting more and more away from meats and I worry about her getting enough protein. Thanks for sharing your story :)
DeleteHi Mary! Your daughter is lovely! I love your view on tasting new foods. You have worked so hard at trying and creating new recipes for your daughter. She is very lucky to have you:)
ReplyDeleteThank you Patty. Tasting new foods is like hiking...you never know what new adventure you are going to come across :)
DeleteI completely agree with you. In my case I tend to cook without any really measurement of ingredients so every time I cook the same dish it turns out different in taste and Ron always says "it is not the same taste as the one one I had the last time but tasty still". Thank god for that!!!
ReplyDeleteHa, ha Rimly. Same here, only my husband always tells me 'the best I ever had'. I giggle and tell him "ya, ya. at least since 'last time'". How funny. Food is such a big part of our lives. It should, at least, taste good :)
Deletewe are making lots of changes in our home regarding diet... more specifically they way I cook and the foods/ingredients I use... I have only a slight glimpse into the challenges you've faced. Oh my girl friend!
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize until I was reading your piece that a lot of my struggle is coming from comparing the way it tasted before to the way it taste after the changes. I want to duplicate!!!!
Maintaining a healthy allergen free diet is hard work!!! *PAT* <---- that is me giving you a virtual pat on the back. Thank you so very much for sharing your finds -- it is appreciated!
Amy, I appreciate your PAT on the back. Sometimes, that is all that someone needs to make everything worth it ☺ Good luck with your dietary changes and holler at me if you ever need to be PATTED, I'll be there for ya!
DeleteI completely understand what you mean Mary and I thank God I have no particular allergies in food. It's the temperature that upsets my stomach :P...
ReplyDeleteYou have introduced a very good point here, "It doesn't taste the way it used to be..."
I could only think of my niece who is obsessed with patterns. The good news about this turn of events is we become more creative :)
You are a truly caring and loving person who gets into the minutest details of things.
Your daughter is very lucky indeed to have a mom like you.
Thank you Melissa. I think this is a good way to look at everything in life when we are required to make a change. It's not always easy, but sure makes it easier in the long run if we don't bog ourselves down with comparisons...at least in this type of situation ☺
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